"Smears, my goodness this is amazing!" The captain exclaimed, surprised and happy as Smears success.
"You really like it sir?" inquired Smears.
"How could I not love it! Its absolutely massive!" replied the captain.
"It is?"
The captain turned to Smears and asked, "Smears, the ship you built wasn't the monstrosity in front of us is it?"
Smears only reply was to lower his head and point of into a dimly lit corner where a repainted kestrel laid, covered in erosion and what looked like animal feces. "That is the ship I built". The captain sighed. He turned to Smears, and then began to scream in Smears ear. "YOU LOATHSOME FOOL! OF ALL THE RUN DOWN SHIPS YOU HAVE BUILT, THIS IS THE MOST PATHETIC, WORTHLESS SHIP I HAVE EVER SEEN!" Smears turned a color that appeared to be a disgusting combination of red, yellow, green, and purple.
The captain tried to calm down, and then asked Smears "What kind of firepower does it have?"
Smears pulled out a small tablet and touched the screen, then replied in a small voice "well, it has 2 defense lasers, a leto missile launcher, and a mini beam".
The captain tried to hold in his anger and then asked "what defensive measures does it have?"
Smears tapped the screen again. "My team couldn't afford a good shield system, so we substituted with a rudimentary cloaking system.”
The captain's head looked like it might explode. "What, may I ask then, makes this ship special then?"
Typically, the ships that Smears built had some dumb gimmick on them, that supposedly made up for the many mistakes he also included. Of course, try telling that to the poor soul who went up against a rebel elite fighter in one of Smears's recent builds. It was a drone laser verses 4 of the strongest weapons ever designed!
Smear replied "Well, I have some friends down in the slug kingdom, and they gave me this cool device, well its more like a weapon. It takes up an artillery system, but its still pretty cool" "Smears. Spit it out already. What does it do?" "Well you know the slugs, they love their beams. The weapon they gave me is a combo of the fire beam, glaive beam, pike beam, and the hull beam".
The captains jaw dropped open. He was about to congratulate Smears when he remembered something. "Smears, are you saying that this ship has possibly the worst weapons and defense ever, but comes equipped with strongest artillery system ever seen?" "Um... yes captain. I am"
The captain turned to an engi standing nearby. "Hey you, the engi! I want you to go to the federation headquarters and ask if they have any engine upgrades available!"
The engi's screen lit up, then turned to the captain and replied "Request denied. Federation base is compromised. Rebel fleet approaching. They have ordered operation SW-4E".
"Darn it, not SW-4E".The captain said.
"May I ask what SW-4E is sir?" asked Smears.
"SW-4E is only called when the Federation is in dire circumstances. It means they cannot offer and help or resources to those who request".
"So what do we do captain?" asked Smears.
The engi's screen lit up again. "Calculating possible solutions. Most reasonable solution is to attack rebel fleet before rebel fleet attacks federation base”.
The captain’s eyes lit up. “Well, we do have everything we need. We have Smears’s ship. With a few touch ups and improvements, it could definitely be battle worthy! And the three of us make a decent crew! And we have enough scrap and ammunition to last awhile. What the heck, lets try it! Everyone, start grabbing all the scrap you can and pile it up! Anything that looks like it could be of use works!”
Smears dashed over to the side and grabbed some drone parts. “Will these work captain?” The captain raised his thumb to show yes, and Smears dashed over to put them in the ship.
After they were done, the captain stood back to look at what they had. They had about 20 drone parts, and 16 missiles, 10 fuel, and 30 scrap.
“Good enough!” He said. “Now its time to get to work! Engi, what’s your name?”
The engi stood still for a minute, clearly thinking. Then he said, “Do not have a name, captain.”
“Well now you do engi. I’m gonna call you Robert. That ok with you?”
The engi’s screen turned yellow, which was the closest thing to happiness for an engi.
“Ok Robert, your job is to use anything you need to upgrade the engine on this thing".
Smear tapped the captain on the back. “Um... captain? What about that massive ship you talked about earlier?”
“Who cares about it? Rip it to bits, use anything you can to fix up our ship!”
Smear turned to the ship looking happy. Slugs love taking things apart. “Captain, what should we call our ship?”
“First off, call me Rockwell. That’s my name. Not captain. Second, lets call her... um... How about the Centrifuge?”
“That’s a lovely name captain!”
Robert walked over with a chunk missing out of its shoulder and tapped on Rockwell’s shoulder. “Sir, while upgrading engine, I ran out of scrap. While retrieving more, I ran into lanius lifeform dissolving station. Upon asking query of what lifeform is doing, lifeform responded by melting part of shoulder. Can you assist?”
Rockwell and Smears walked over to the hole the lanius was making. “Hey you, what are you doing?”
The lanius responded with peculiar clicking and beeping sounds.
Rockwell looked puzzled and turned to Smears and Robert. “Does anyone know what he just said?”
Robert’s screen turned orange and then he said “translation complete. Lanius lifeform said...” Robert then repeated some very foul words. “He then asked if we have any spare scrap”
Rockwell thought for a moment and then asked Robert if he could also speak lanius as well as translate it.
Robert said yes.
“Ok, Robert tell this lanius that we have plenty of spare scrap, but we will only give it to him if he agrees to join our crew”.
After a minute of discussion between Robert and the Lanius in a language neither Rockwell or Smear understood, Robert turned around and said “Lanius Lifeform agrees to terms.”
“well then,” said Rockwell, “Everyone get ready, beca-“.
Rockwell didn’t get to finish his sentence because gunfire echoed through the hangar.
The station was under attack! The Rebel fleet advanced to this sector and was now ravaging the station.
“Shoot, everyone hold on!” cried Rockwell.
The four dashed into the Centrifuge and Rockwell hit hopped into the pilot seat. They shot out of the station, only to end up in the middle of a dogfight between several rebel ships and what appeared to be a federation ship with pirate markings. Suddenly a human and a mantis teleported onto the brig.
“You need to help us!” Cried the mantis, with a frightened look in his eye.
“Ya, we’re being chased by rebels who want our heads because we hold important information for the federations survival!” Added the human, who looked equally frightened.
“Here, take this!” The mantis handed a flash drive to Rockwell.
Rockwell then handed it to Robert, who installed it into his main system and the ships main system.
“Come with us” said Rockwell.
“Thank you!” said the human and the mantis in unison.
Rockwell charged the FTL drive while Smear charged the weapons.
A large Rebel Elite Fighter approached. Rockwell received a hail from them, and quickly accepted it.
“Hello fair citizens! What a lucky day for us to find you! It has come to out attention that you are transporting very important fugitives. If you would kindly hand them over, you may carry on!”
The mantis approached Rockwell. “Don’t do it! Never trust a rebel. As soon as you hand us over, they’ll blast your ship to bits!”
“Don’t worry, I’m no fool” replied Rockwell, who then turned to the receiver. “Quit it with the sugar coating. We know what you want and why you want it. But we will never hand them over!”
The rebels hailed back. “Fine then, have it your way. But you will soon rue the day you chose the petty federation over the mighty rebellion!” They terminated the hail and then raised their weapons.
“Shoot!” cried Smear. “We’ll never survive this! They have two Halberd Beams and a Swarm Missile!”
“Don’t worry, I have a plan” Said Rockwell. “I’m gonna dock our ship and then board them, and then we’ll slice ‘em to bits!”
Rockwell piloted the ship closer and crashed into the rebel ship, doing decent damage to both hulls. Rockwell, Smears, the human, and the mantis all leapt out of the air lock and into the rebel ship. Both Robert and the Lanius stayed behind, seeing as Robert was a horrible fighter and someone needed to stay behind and protect the ship other than him. Rockwell and the others pounded through the rebels and their anti-personnel drones, but the rebels had an improved clone bay, and there were more of them than Rockwell’s team.
“Captain, you need to run! We’ll stay behind and hold off the rest!” yelled the mantis as he was blasted in the face with a laser.
“NO! I’m not leaving you!” yelled Rockwell in reply.
Smear grabbed Rockwell and pulled him back onto the ship.
“No stop. Wait No! Smear let go of me!”
Smear held on tightly and said nothing, with tears running down his face.
Rockwell hopped back into the pilot seat, slammed his fist down on the FTL Jump button, and looked out the rear window as the station blew to pieces, taking out every rebel ship nearby, including the one with the two rebel vigilantes on it. “Those rebels will pay! All of them will pay!” Yelled Rockwell as they jumped to the next beacon and away from the rebels. They were in a lot of trouble now. There was no turning back, not that they could of course, seeing as the rebels had destroyed everything. The rebels were after them. But Rockwell knew one thing for sure. He would make them pay.
“Smear!” he called.
“Yes captain?”
“Hand me that flash drive. Its time we ended the rebellion once and for all.
I know that that was a LOOONNNGGG story, but it took me a while and I'm proud of it. Everything in that story applies to the ship I made. The crew consists of a rockman (Captain Rockwell), a slug (Mechanic Smear), and engi (Robert), and a lanius (the unnamed and very rude lanius). I know that the game won't give the approprait name for the characters, but you can just imagine who they are. (or rename them [or just forget the story]).
This mod uses Arfy's experimental armaments and requires Slipstream to run.
Download link: (now has doors that let you into artillery Why? because after some "positive" feedback I decided to)
https://www.dropbox.com/s/rdjezh3ixsqdx ... e.ftl?dl=0
Download Arfy's Experimental Armaments:
http://subsetgames.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=32214
Hull image is my own (for once). Thanks to Arfy for letting me use his mod in all of my mods. Not much else to say. Enjoy!
Snapshots (of me playing the game with this ship): https://imgur.com/a/xL79G
You can also view them in the post here:
This is the Centrifuge in the hangar. It is waiting for imminent destruction (or victory).
This is the Centrifuge right out of the hangar.
Centrifuge without rooms turned on. Now you can see the glory of the recolored hull I made.
Centrifuge in hangar but with annotations (made by me)
Centrifuge battling a pirate (with annotations made by me)
Centrifuge's powerful artillery beam at work. BOOMSHAKALAKA
Centrifuge's last moments as an AI ship from sector one rips it apart with a combat drone. (with annotations made by me)
