Dumb ways to die!

[OC2142]

What's the most humiliating death you've ever suffered while playing FTL?
Here are some I've experienced:
●Giant Alien Spiders on Engi B (First jump and...!)
●Killed by Zoltans (On a MANTIS cruiser!)
●Random event dealing 15 hull damage (Oops!)
●Forgetting to turn off Auto-Fire and killing all 4 of your crew after teleporting them over.
What about you? Any stories you've buried out of shame?

[DarkPhoenix141]

Zoltan Boarders.

[stylesrj]

^ This.

That event with weapon's license issues (or even the border checkpoint but I should always choose to fight instead of submitting to profiling. Always. But I don't because... derp.) ALWAYS screws over what may have been a good run.

Especially when they also have a Clone Bay. So you defeat all 4-6 boarders... good now watch as they fix the systems you damage... at ludicrous speed!
Oh and enjoy a Breach Missile too. To your shields. 55% dodge? Too bad, you hit the 45%.

[OC2142]

Could be worse. 98% Dodge? Nope, Breach Missile connects in my cloaking room of all places.

[stylesrj]

How about this:

Crystal Cruiser Type B. Hard Mode

First jump - Solar Flare.

Ok, not bad.

No wait, there's an Automated Scout! Ok, maybe I can escape from...

The Scout also has a Mind Control device.

Fu-fu-fu-fu-fu...

You don't even need to wait for your ship/crew to die horribly. You just reset and hope they don't... Zoltan Fighter... Burst Laser Mk.II and Missiles... and Mind Control!?

[Tharsis]

I want to start singing the Dumb Ways to Die song from the game of the same name

[CobaltAthos]

Ok, this has happened at least more than once...
Crystal B. Naturally I'd use a boarding team. But the default augment is Crystal Vengeance. I sent my crystal guys over. They sent a shot to my hull, and that 10% of misfortune struck. The piece of crystal was sailing right for my boarding team! Of all the places it could've been...
I watched as my crystal crew shattered.
I learned from this lesson, and on every subsequent run I sold that crystal vengeance first-thing.
Of course, I've lost a mantis to that Zoltan "poof-for-15-damage", among many other ways that I can't remember off the top of my head.

[tenB4Midnight]

Very first jump, faced with a decision to help out with a plague.
Do the humanitarian thing and send crewman to help.
He doesn't make it.
There are two left.

Second jump. Another station, also suffering plague.
Surely... if the previous encounter was deadly, this one must result in reward! Right?
The crewman dies.
A lone pilot is left to make the next jump.

Third jump. Yet another station. This time, it's giant spiders.
As we all, know giant spiders are no joke.
What to do?
How bad can my luck possibly be?
Surely, some rewards are now due my way.
Crewman goes in to help.
Dies.
Ship drifts for eternity.
The end.

[delta77thegreat]

So I was playing Engi B on the iPad Edition.

Sector 5, the run is looking promising with a Burst Laser 2 to chew through shields, and pretty good engines and shields.

Yet still no additional crew.

So I'm cruising along, when I find a slaver. I have to draw straws to send a crew member over. I laugh at this, thinking how stupid it is to draw straws for only one person. I imagine the one engi and one straw.

I tap the refuse button, but lo and behold, my fat fingers tap draw straws instead.

Ship drifts forever, the end.

Even though it was a promising run I still laughed for a few minutes at how stupid the outcome is.

[CobaltAthos]

So I was playing Engi B on the iPad Edition.

Sector 5, the run is looking promising with a Burst Laser 2 to chew through shields, and pretty good engines and shields.

Yet still no additional crew.

So I'm cruising along, when I find a slaver. I have to draw straws to send a crew member over. I laugh at this, thinking how stupid it is to draw straws for only one person. I imagine the one engi and one straw.

I tap the refuse button, but lo and behold, my fat fingers tap draw straws instead.

Ship drifts forever, the end.

Even though it was a promising run I still laughed for a few minutes at how stupid the outcome is.

RNG fail IRL? Don't worry, this very event happened for me too (well, on Cryst B). ON COMPUTER. What excuse do I have. Luckily it was a fun run and I hit the restart button.