
A few spelling/grammar/usage things:
'The Crystal has discovered that your ship's armor is incompatible.... "retaliations* armor".**' 1) "retaliation" (or was it meant to sound awkward?); 2) period inside quote.
"Upon arrival you realize that you jumped a few clicks* off the mark." - "klicks," and I think this should be "a few hundred thousand klicks" if not "a few megameters." (I wonder if that would be "megs" in space slang.)
'Your computer registers a threat level 12 enemy concentration nearby,* a Rebel cruiser, flanked by two drone carriers, lingers in the distance. You receive a hail,** "This is the Rebel primary unit RS*** 'Beep Beep!'.**** - 1) replace comma with colon; 2) see 1; 3) saying "Rebel" followed by "RS" is redundant; maybe remove "Rebel"; 4) remove period.