[SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

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Kierany9

[SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby Kierany9 » Mon Dec 09, 2013 11:56 am

Made for the community project, Flying Christmas Tree of Death.

Download(replaces Osprey) http://www.mediafire.com/download/t6e14 ... 20Tree.ftl

Video(By Bren Tenkage): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSSVOAQzCQg

Screenshots: http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/f ... =202381126

Story(Short version):

The rebels have stolen christmas. And the Federation is pissed. Armed with nothing but the most basic of weapons, and a magical Chirstmas Star Beam, it's up to them to pilot the new Assault Tree straight to rebel domain and bring back christmas for everyone!

Ship info:

The Airborne Assault Tree comes with all systems installed and ready to use(Except shields, which are 100 scrap to upgrade) and four basic weapons: Leto, Small Bomb, Mini Beam and Basic Laser. It comes with a crew member of every race except human and a level 4 Christmas Star Beam, AKA Artillery Beam. Unfortunately it only starts with eight power, forcing you to manage your system power. It comes with free scrap...I mean Hull Repair Drones to compensate for your lack of shields. Comes with Crystal Vengeance and Mantis Phermones.

Story(long version):

Every species
Down in the Federation
Liked Christmas a lot...

But the Rebels,
Who lived just North of the Homeworlds,
Did NOT!

The Rebels hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that their ships weren't built just right.
It could be, perhaps, that their scientists weren't too bright.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that their hearts were two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
Their hearts or their ships,
They stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Feds,
Staring down from their flagship, they frowned
At the warm lighted windows below in their ship.
For he knew every rock, crystal, mantis or engi
Was busy now, planting a new Christmas tree

The more the rebels thought, "We must stop this whole thing!
"Why we're rebels, we have a dreadnaught now!
WE MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"

Then they got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE REBELS
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The commander laughed and sneered.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a beard.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Rebel trick!
"With this coat and this beard, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a cruiser..."
The commander looked around.
But since reindeer ships are rare, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the Rebel fleet...?
No! The commander simply said,
"If I can't find a flagship, I'll paint ours instead!"
So he called his aide Bob, Then he took some red paint
And he brushed his ship the color of Santa, how quaint.

THEN
He loaded some bags
And some empty cargo bays
On a spaceship sleigh
And he emptied the weapon bays.
Then the commander pressed a display!"
And the flagship jumped away
Toward the homes where the Feds
Lay a-snooze in their beds.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Zoltan and Mantis were all dreaming without care
When he came to the first ship in the fleet.

"This is stop number one," The old Rebel hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid in the exhaust lock. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could the commander.
He got stuck only once, and got out by moving an inch.

Then he got out inside a Rockman's Fighter
Where the little stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Burst Lasers! Zoltan Shields! Teleporters! Rock Plating!
Ion Blasts! Fire Bombs! And Titanium System Casing!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the commander, with no time spent.
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, down the exhaust vent!

Then he slunk to the Light Cruiser. He took the Slug's feast!
He took the Fed's-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox like greased lightning.
Why, those rebels even took all the salad dressing!
Then he stuffed all the food down the exhaust with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the commander, "I will stuff up the tree!"

And the commander grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Engi!
Little baby Dell, who was not more than three.
The Rebel had been caught by this little Federation son
Who'd got out of bed for a glass of Capri-Sun.
He stared at the commander and said, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, those old rebels were so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted its head
And he got it a drink and he sent it to bed.
And when little Dell who went to bed with a dressing gown,
HE went to the exhaust and stuffed the tree down!
Then the last thing he took
Was the fuel for their fire.
Then he went down the exhaust himself, the old liar.

On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.
And the one speck of food
That he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then
He did the same thing
To the other Federation ships
Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the other Fed's mice!
It was quarter past dawn...
All the Feds, still a-bed
All the Feds, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The Shield Control Station!
The Glaives! And the Heavy Lasers! The Advanced Navigation!

Eight sectors away! At the edge of Last Stand,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Feds!" he was happily humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Feds down in Sector One will all cry BOO-HOO!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Commander,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the rebel put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded angry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS angry! VERY!
He stared down at Sector One!
The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every species in Fed-Space, the tall and the small,
Was gathering! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Or so the rebels thought, the Fed's, not the same!

The Mantis, the Engi and the Zoltan
The Rockmen, the slugs and the Crystalmen
All united at Christmas with the human Federation
And together as one nation
Charged at the rebel fleet. wishing for vengeance.
The rebels stared in a trance.
Apparently the commander wasn't so slick.
Little Dell must've not fallen for his trick!

And so the United Federation
Charged at the Rebel Fleet
Whether they had Glaive Beams or Basic Lasers
Christmas was here, and it was l33t
The Rebel Flagship would go down for sure
And presents would fly out of the core
And so, the spirit of Christmas would return
And maybe, just maybe, the rebels could learn

...

Naah, probably not.
Last edited by Kierany9 on Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
richeygator
Posts: 39
Joined: Fri Nov 01, 2013 10:59 pm

Re: [SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby richeygator » Mon Dec 09, 2013 9:04 pm

Literally the longest story ever took like 3 minutes to read
Ships pretty nice not to op or up
I dont have a god complex,you have a mortal complex
User avatar
BrenTenkage
Posts: 1156
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2012 4:48 pm

Re: [SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby BrenTenkage » Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:53 pm

I make a lot of lets plays of FTL, I also use mods I find on this site http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL ... 06hca_PXuX
I am also a modder as well, here is my mod hub viewtopic.php?f=11&t=32269
Kierany9

Re: [SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby Kierany9 » Wed Dec 11, 2013 3:44 pm

BrenTenkage wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSSVOAQzCQg&feature=youtu.be now that was fun


Amazing run there Bren! And an amazing finale
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Metzelmax
Posts: 364
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:59 am

Re: [SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby Metzelmax » Wed Dec 11, 2013 4:36 pm

General hint:
If Bren wins with a ship, it is too easy :P
Here is the Stuff I made:
ImageImageImageImage
And stuff is always better than no stuff, right?
User avatar
BrenTenkage
Posts: 1156
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2012 4:48 pm

Re: [SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby BrenTenkage » Wed Dec 11, 2013 6:06 pm

Metzelmax wrote:General hint:
If Bren wins with a ship, it is too easy :P


Hey Excuuuuuuuuuuuse Me Metzelmax, just cause I play on Easy mode doesn't make me a bad player, me I play for fun ,not to prove my skill, win or lose I have fun, and besides I've lost a few times even in modded ships, so do they make it hard.

If you are joking around, fine
I make a lot of lets plays of FTL, I also use mods I find on this site http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL ... 06hca_PXuX
I am also a modder as well, here is my mod hub viewtopic.php?f=11&t=32269
User avatar
R4V3-0N
Posts: 1291
Joined: Sun Oct 06, 2013 11:44 am

Re: [SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby R4V3-0N » Thu Dec 12, 2013 9:53 am

I play on easy a lot to, but I do play occasionally on normal, I do like normal though, seeing huge enemy ships like the Mantis bomber, Rock Assault, etc more often, zoltan ships in sector one got zoltan shield, etc.

It's just that's when AI cheats the most with 5 shields near the end, more system level then you, etc.
R4V3-0N, a dreamer.
Kierany9

Re: [SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby Kierany9 » Thu Dec 12, 2013 3:04 pm

R4V3-0N wrote:I play on easy a lot to, but I do play occasionally on normal, I do like normal though, seeing huge enemy ships like the Mantis bomber, Rock Assault, etc more often, zoltan ships in sector one got zoltan shield, etc.

It's just that's when AI cheats the most with 5 shields near the end, more system level then you, etc.


I have run into 5-Shielded Auto-Assaults on easy, and it was probably my worst run until then. You can imagine my face when my derilict cruiser flew straight into that monstrosity.
kai
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2013 9:33 pm

Re: [SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby kai » Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:21 pm

this sucks you have just pasted the christmas tree form s.s.u. into the ship editor and made it a ship :x :evil:
Kierany9

Re: [SHIP] The Luminous: How the Rebels stole christmas

Postby Kierany9 » Tue Dec 17, 2013 2:58 pm

kai wrote:this sucks you have just pasted the christmas tree form s.s.u. into the ship editor and made it a ship :x :evil:


And your point is? The art is public domain: I can use it however I feel like. And if I wanted to make a ship that goes along with my FTL poem parody, then I can do as I bloody well please. I'm not doing this for money or anything: just for a communuity mod project for an arsenal of flying christmas trees of death and wanted it to look nice. Actually, why don't you try designing a ship hull and come back to me when it looks better than a 5 year olds scribble in MS Paint.

PS: Please capitalize your words correctly, not doing so makes your argument look even less valid.