Your "Fuck you, FTL" Moments

[Neodaemo]

My worst run was in the Kestrel A, I had just started out in AE and wanted to try some things out. I do pretty good in the first sector, and got enough scrap to buy mind control (sounded fun). Second sector I have choice between Mantis controlled and Rock controlled. I decided to go with Rock because I always fail when I get boarded. About halfway through I meet some rock ship with two shields. Not sure why such an early ship has two shields, glitch maybe but whatever. I take my mind control and set off with the guy manning the shields. It doesn't last long enough for it to get destroyed, but the Artemis was charged so I shot at their shields, bringing it down a level. The burst laser was ready, so I fired that at the weapons. They went: Miss, Miss, Hit. So no actual damage to the ship. Their weapons had finally charged, and they were armed with a heavy Ion and a halberd beam. They went off, and their rock guy repaired the shields. The Ion had taken out my shields then the halberd took out my weapons. I had a guy fix it, and after they were finally charged again I fired them off at the SAME TIME another Rock volley was ready. My hull had already been down some, and this last blast took me down to about 3. My volley took them down to ONE but my weapons had gone down again. I fixed it and waited for the weapons to charge, and the rock jumped away. I hop to the next beacon, hoping for peace and a store nearby, instead I get an auto-scout with two anti-ship drones that finally killed me.

[Mister Sammy]

I jumped into a pulsar with a Rebel Rigger in sector 2. Heavy laser, Beam 2, playing Rock B. I fired my heavy pierce at his weapon room. MISS!

Okay, maybe I'd better set fire to his drones.

MISS.

I manage to hold together long enough for another shot at his weapons.

MISS~!!!!

Weapon room gets ion'd twice in a row. Meanwhile, I have a beam drone tearing me apart.

Fire bomb to the helm does nothing, they just put it out. I FINALLY get a shot off on his weapon system. Too late. BOOM. DEAD.

[Madhax]

I just logged on for the first time in months after hearing about the massive update. Gave it a shot, had a bunch of fun with the new content.

Then, running Mantis B, I managed to lose THREE upgraded mantis boarders in a single encounter. I had no idea Zoltans exploded now. It sucked =(

Still managed to win with that ship, though. I got the new chain gun and hired a few rockmen at the next shop to take over boarding duties.

[Jai]

I'd say what I hate more than anything is with the new content, on Hard, in the first sector, on one of the first jumps, hitting a ship with Burst II, Missiles, and a Drone. Some starter ships are capable of fighting that, barely, others are just dead before they can fire a shot or hope to escape.

[M59Gar]

Mantis B. Hard, Advanced Edition. Having a great run killing things with my boarders. Then I see a shop in Sector 2 has Flak II. Given that this board has touted how OP it is, I sell my boarding drone to get it. Figure I don't even need a boarding drone with my sick crew.

Mantis B needs 2 weapon system upgrades to get to 3, to power Flak II. This requires 65 scrap. I acquire 64 scrap.

64 scrap.

Then I proceed to run into 9 AI ships in a row, none of which I can do anything about. I've no weapons. No boarding drone. Just crew that won't survive a level 1 transporter refresh time in an oxygenless environment.

Die after a sector and a half of AI ships in a row, 1 scrap short.

Fuck you, FTL!

[5thHorseman]

Osprey, first sector, first enemy has an ion in an asteroid field. Not too bad, but kinda annoying. I take 1 damage.

Second fight, enemy has an ion in an asteroid field AND a Zoltan shield. Okay, it's gonna be like that, eh? I manage to only take 2 more damage for a total of 3.

3rd fight, ion and a beam weapon and HE HACKED MY SHIELDS. At this point, the only surprise is that I'm not in another asteroid field.

FYFTL.

[project_mercy]

3rd fight, ion and a beam weapon and HE HACKED MY SHIELDS. At this point, the only surprise is that I'm not in another asteroid field.

I had a similar game in classic FTL, some ship without scanners, I forget exactly, but I'm thinking some Kestrel Variant or Federation variant.

First jump of the game is a red giant with a cloaking auto scout. The first solar flare hits my doors and weapons. Every time I get the weapons back up and ready to go, the scout is cloaked. So, I eventually beat it all down, but I've taken a ton of damage

Second jump of the game is.. a red giant.. with a cloaking auto scout. *sigh* repeat the same fight

Third jump of the game.. what are the chances? What's that you say? YES, A RED GIANT, no auto scout, but a drone rigger. Ok, I figure, I'm done with that. At least it wasn't a cloaking auto scout, right?

Fourth jump of the game : asteroid field.. with a cloaking auto scout, which hacks my shields

And.. I die.


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My FUFTL a few days ago. I'm about 2/3 of the way through sector one in a Bulwark and run into an auto scout (i think, definitely an AI ship). It has two leto launchers. I launch my first missile (artemis) at the missiles and it takes down one. Nice. Should be an easy ride then, right?

Every slot is full in this ship, so hull missile is just a slow artemis. I launch it at the piloting and it misses. Man this sucks, I only have 15 missiles left.

How many could possibly miss? Turns out 13 OF THEM! The scout totally runs out of missiles. Finally the 2nd to last artemis hits the piloting, and the last missile destroys it. And it didn't drop any missiles.

Game over. Thank you Bulwark.

[shadowcrust]

What I've learned the Hard way (haha) in AE is that jumping out of fights is sometimes a good thing. I've (almost) never done that in FTL Classic, but I usually do it a couple of times during a single AE run, for example when the opponent has four shields, 2x Ion Blast II and a beam, while your own ship got three shields, 1x Ion Blast II and a beam.

However, sometimes you get into a clinteastwoodian "it's either you or me" mentality, when you just can't believe that your pristine well-equipped ship can actually be destroyed by a single opponent. As it turns out, it's sometimes you, and not me. Happened to me last time with the Torus: I had Ion Blast II, Stun Ion and a Pike Beam equipped and a level 1 cloak, 3 shields and 4 or 5 in engines. Cue the opponent: auto scout with level 3 cloak, a Burst Laser Mk III and a (I think) Hermes missile launcher. I couldn't touch that ship, it killed my super Torus without a single scratch. I could have jumped out for minutes, but just watched in fascinated agony how it smashed my ship.

[5thHorseman]

However, sometimes you get into a clinteastwoodian "it's either you or me" mentality

I'm the same way sometimes, though for me it's Picard from First Contact.

The line must be drawn HERE! This far, no further!

And it helps if you say "hear" the way he said it: "heahr!"

[shadowcrust]

I imagine Clint Eastwood narrowing his eyes to a slit and hurling insults at his opponent through gritted teeth (no lip movements involved).